The Benefits of Meditation and the Illusion of the Seeker

We often find ourselves looking for the donkey while we are already sitting on its back. It is a strange human comedy, this seeking for what is already present, this striving to reach a destination that we have never actually left. We talk about the benefits of meditation as if they were rewards at the end of a long, dusty road, but who is it that is traveling? And where could they possibly go if the absolute is indeed absolute? If the totality is truly everything, it must include us right here, in this very moment of distraction or clarity, without exception. There is a common misunderstanding that we are separate selves who must perform certain actions to achieve a state called enlightenment. But liberation is never of the separate self; it is liberation from the separate self. It is the realization that the one trying to meditate, the one trying to "get it," is actually the only thing standing in the way of noticing what is already here. We are like dreamers who dream they are sick and spend the whole dream searching for a cure, only to wake up and realize they were never ill, and more importantly, they were never that specific character in the dream at all. They were the entire dream. When we sit in silence, we aren't practicing to become something else. Silence isn't a goal; it is the background that allows noise to be noticed. It is like the silence beneath the roar of a crowded room. The noise doesn't destroy the silence, and the silence doesn't need to get rid of the noise to be itself. They exist simultaneously. In the same way, the benefits of meditation can be seen as a way of harmonizing the body-mind, but they have nothing to do with the nature of our deep identity. On a horizontal level, the level of our daily lives, there is much to be said for a quiet mind. We can observe how we use language to hide rather than reveal, or how we speak too much to discharge anxiety. We can notice the chronic tensions in the body that we’ve carried for years without knowing. As we relax, the body-mind functions more efficiently. The immune system strengthens, the breath becomes a form of nourishment, and we might even find a little space between a provocation and our usual automatic reaction. These are real, tangible shifts. A body that is relaxed and a mind that is less cluttered by useless thoughts about the future or the past is certainly a more harmonious way to live. However, we must be frank with each other. If we use meditation as a tool to reach the infinite in the future, we are simply diluting the present. We are creating a mental structure where an "I" does something now to get something later. This is the ultimate trap. How can you practice being what you already are? If the absolute is not here now, it isn't the absolute. If you are not already the ocean, no amount of waving will turn you into water. The body-mind may improve, it may heal, and it may find states of profound peace or non-ordinary consciousness.