The Donkey and the Rider: Why Mindfulness and Meditation for Stress and Anxiety Are Already Where You Stand

It is a funny thing, isn't it? We spend so much time looking for the donkey while we are already sitting on its back. We have been distracted for so long that we began to believe the distraction was our primary residence. We hear about mindfulness and meditation for stress and anxiety and we think, "Ah, here is the map. Here is the ladder I will climb to finally reach that elusive state of peace." But who is it that is climbing? And where exactly do we think we are going? When we look at the body-mind, we see a complex unit of functions. Sometimes it is tight, sometimes it is loose. We live in a world of horizontal improvement where we try to fix the character in the dream. We use meditation to relax the muscles, to lower the blood pressure, or to help the immune system recover after a period of intense stress. This is all well and good. In the relative world, it makes sense to take care of the instrument. If the body-mind is under pressure, a practice can bring a sense of harmony. It can create a little space between a stimulus and a reaction, allowing us to see our automatic patterns without being immediately swept away by them. But let’s be very clear: this is not liberation. This is just making the dream a bit more comfortable. The separate self loves the idea of a journey. It loves the idea that if it sits long enough, breathes deeply enough, or follows a specific technique, it will eventually "become" enlightened. But how can a wave become the ocean? The wave already is the ocean. It never stopped being the ocean for a single second, even when it was crashing against the rocks. The idea that we need to "attain" aware presence is the ultimate distraction. We are already that presence. The silence isn't something we produce through effort; it is the background that allows the noise of our thoughts to exist in the first place. Silence is like the screen, and our lives are the film. The character in the film can travel for thousands of miles looking for the screen, but he is already on it. He can’t get any closer to it, and he can’t move away from it. We often talk about "liberation of the self," but that is a misunderstanding. There is no liberation for the separate self. There is only liberation *from* the separate self. It is the realization that the one who thinks they are meditating, the one who thinks they are stressed, and the one who thinks they are making progress, is actually just another appearance within the absolute. Whether we are sitting in deep silence or we are caught in a whirlwind of thoughts, it is all the same totality. Even the most dysfunctional, stressed-out moment is a perfect expression of the absolute. There is nothing outside of it. Even the person who doesn't meditate is a perfect expression of what is. Why do we struggle so much with mindfulness and meditation for stress and anxiety? Perhaps because we are trying to use a tool to find the one who is using the tool. We get caught in a logical trap.