The Donkey and the Rider: Why Tantric Meditation is Not a Path to Somewhere Else

Silence isn't something we practice; it is what appears when the seeker finally stops seeking. But who is seeking? And what exactly are we looking for? It is like the old story of the person frantically searching for their donkey while they are already sitting on its back. We are so distracted by the movement of the search that we miss the very thing that is carrying us. This is the paradox of the separate self. We imagine a "me" that needs to achieve a state called enlightenment, yet that very "me" is the only thing standing in the way of noticing what is already here. There is a common misunderstanding that meditation is a ladder we climb to reach a higher floor of existence. We think that if we sit long enough or follow a specific technique, we will eventually attain a prize. But let’s be frank: there is no path to the absolute because the absolute is not a destination. It is the totality. How can you walk toward something you already are? The separate self loves the idea of a journey because a journey implies time, and time allows the self to survive. As long as there is a "tomorrow" where I will be more aware, the "me" of today gets to keep its job. In the context of what some call tantric meditation, we aren't looking for a way to escape our humanity or purify ourselves into a saintly shadow. Real liberation is not of the separate self, but from the separate self. It is the realization that the "io sono" or "I am" we cling to is often just a localized function of the body-mind. We think we are the observer looking at an tree, separate and distinct. We place our body and our thoughts on the side of the "observer" and the world on the side of the "observed." But when we look closely, where is the line? The observation is one single, indivisible movement. The pen, the hand, and the sight of the pen are one event. The division into "me" and "that" is just a story we tell to navigate the kitchen or the office. This doesn't mean we should stop meditating. If meditation happens in your life, it is a perfect expression of the absolute, just as much as eating or dancing is. Meditation may bring comfort now; it might make the body-mind feel more regulated or the thoughts feel more like a luminous thread of steel in an empty space. That is wonderful, but it isn't a ticket to a new reality. It is just the absolute expressing itself as a body-mind sitting in silence. We often get caught in the trap of "spiritual achievement," thinking we need to sradicate every negative emotion to be free. But the totality includes everything—the perfect and the imperfect, the generous and the cruel, the joy and the agony. In certain traditions of tantric meditation, there is a beautiful understanding that every emotion, even the ones we label as "negative," is simply pure energy. Usually, an emotion like anger or fear grabs our attention and pins it to an object. We are angry at *someone*; we are afraid of *something*.