The Myth of Mindfulness Stress Relief and the Reality of What You Already Are

We often find ourselves caught in a strange game, a sort of merchant’s logic of the mind where we try to trade our current discomfort for a future state of peace. We hear terms like mindfulness stress relief and immediately the separate self begins to build a ladder. We think that if we sit long enough, breathe deeply enough, or follow the right guide, we will eventually reach a plateau where the chaos of the body-mind finally settles into a permanent calm. But who is it that is trying to reach that calm? And where is this "there" that is separate from "here"? The reality is that there is no this moment because there is nowhere to go. The idea of a spiritual journey is perhaps the greatest distraction of all. When we sit in silence, it isn't a practice we are doing to become something better; it is simply what appears when the seeker finally stops seeking. We might notice that when the body-mind relaxes, the physiology changes. Blood vessels open, oxygen flows more freely, and the chronic tensions we didn't even know we were carrying begin to dissolve. This brings comfort, certainly. It might even bolster the immune system or help the body heal from heavy burdens. But this isn't a spiritual achievement. It’s just the body being a body. We often treat our emotions like a tiger in the room. When fear arises, we are so focused on the tiger—the object of our worry—that we don't even see the fear itself. We are dominated by it, acted upon by it. We think we need to manage these thoughts, to exorcise the worries about the past or the future, but trying to force them away only gives them more strength. It’s like the musicians on the Titanic; the music doesn't stop the ship from sinking, but the music is what is happening. The thoughts of the past and future will continue to chase us, even into our dreams, because that is the nature of the mind. The sky isn't failing when a storm appears; a storm is just what the sky is doing at that moment. Many people approach mindfulness stress relief as a chore, a grim duty to be performed in the hopes of a later reward. They sit in rooms with a heavy seriousness, bored and straining to watch their breath while their hearts are elsewhere. But if meditation is a problem, why create more problems? Life provides enough challenges without us inventing spiritual ones. If we are sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee and thinking, "I must go upstairs to meditate so I can be in the presence," we are missing the fact that the presence is already there in the coffee cup. The absolute doesn't wait for you to reach a specific room or a specific state of mind. Sometimes, through various practices, the mind may become exceptionally quiet. It can feel like a luminous thread of steel in a vast, empty space—a state of profound clarity where one feels like a genius. These experiences are beautiful, but they are not the point. They are just more experiences passing through the conscious presence that you already are.