The Open Secret of What You Already Are: Beyond Mindfulness Meditation for Self Awareness

We often find ourselves caught in a loop of seeking, convinced that if we just find the right technique or the perfect silence, we will finally arrive somewhere else. We treat mindfulness meditation for self awareness as a ladder, a way to climb out of our ordinary confusion into a state of permanent clarity. But who is it that is trying to climb? And where is this "there" that is supposedly better than "here"? The truth is that there is no this moment because enlightenment is not a destination. It is the very ground you are standing on while you look for the ground. Think about the way we live our daily lives. Most of the time, our thoughts flow in a semi-conscious stream. We are multitasking, chopping vegetables while worrying about tomorrow, or driving while rehashing yesterday. The thoughts are there, but they are like glasses sitting on the bridge of our nose. They are so close to us that we don't see them as objects; instead, we see the whole world through them. We identify with the glass and the frame, forgetting that they are merely tools. When we begin to observe these thoughts, it feels like taking the glasses off and laying them on the table. Suddenly, there is a distance. We see the thoughts as objects, and we realize, "I am not these thoughts." This position of the witness is a powerful shift. It brings a sense of comfort and a relief from the internal noise. We realize that the body-mind is sitting, listening, and thinking, but there is an aware presence behind it all that remains untouched. However, we must be careful not to turn this into another trap. The witness is often the maximum form of duality. It creates a division between the observer and the observed, between the "me" who is aware and the "life" that is happening. We start to think that the consciousness is one thing and the content of consciousness—the car, the mountain, the pain, the joy—is another. But in a dream, are the mountains made of anything other than the mind of the dreamer? The separate self loves to turn everything into a project. It hears about mindfulness meditation for self awareness and immediately asks, "How long will it take? What are the steps? When do I get the prize?" But this is like riding a donkey while frantically searching for a donkey. You are already on the back of the very thing you are looking for. You cannot "achieve" what you already are. The absolute is not hidden in some deep, mystical cavern that requires years of digging to reach. It is right here, in the most mundane moments. It is in the sound of the wind, the sensation of the chair, and even in the distraction itself. We often hear people say that they feel peaceful during a retreat but lose it the moment they return to the city. They blame the noise, the traffic, or their family. But the nature of the mind is like the sky. The sky is not always clear; sometimes it is full of storms and dark clouds.